You Are Not to Blame: Childhood Obesity and Parenting

Key takeaways

• Your child's weight is influenced by far more than food and exercise. Genetics, emotions, sleep, stress, and environment all play a significant role.
• Blame and stigma make things worse for your child and for you.
• You don't need to be a perfect parent to make a real difference; you just need the right support.
• Sustainable change starts with understanding your family's whole picture, not just what's on the dinner plate.
• Practical, compassionate help is available, and it works.

You are not the problem

One of the most harmful myths is that if your child is overweight, you just haven’t tried hard enough. People may think being stricter or more organised would change things. But research tells a different story.

The World Obesity Federation reports that over 400 million children and adolescents worldwide are currently living with overweight or obesity, a figure that has risen nearly fivefold since 1975.

This isn’t happening because parents don’t care. Experts say it’s the result of an obesogenic environment, where ultra-processed foods are everywhere, screens compete with outdoor play, family life is stressful, and sleep often gets overlooked.

According to the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare, about 1 in 4 Australian children are living with overweight or obesity. This affects children in every suburb, every school, and every type of family.

This is a challenge for the whole community, not a personal failing.

If you’re doing your best and it still feels like it’s not enough, remember this:

• Your child's genetics may mean they store fat differently or feel hunger more intensely than other kids.
• If they are anxious, lonely, or struggling socially, they may turn to food for comfort because that's what humans do.
• When the supermarket checkout, school canteen, and every sports event are filled with junk food, saying no every time isn’t just about willpower. It’s exhausting for any parent.

When blame makes things worse

You might be surprised to learn that feeling ashamed about your child’s weight, or letting your child feel that shame, actually makes lasting change harder, not easier.

Research from the Obesity Action Coalition shows that weight stigma leads to more emotional eating, less physical activity, and serious mental health issues for children. When kids feel judged about their bodies, they may avoid sports, eat in secret, skip meals and then overeat, and struggle with food even as adults.

When you feel judged as a parent, it’s easy to shut down, stop asking for help, or swing between being too strict one week and giving up the next. None of these help your family move forward.

What really helps is replacing blame with curiosity.

Instead of asking, "Why can’t I get this right?" try asking, "What is really going on for my child and our family right now?" This change in thinking can make a big difference.

What you can do differently starting today

Lasting change in your family’s health doesn’t come from just trying harder at the same things. It comes from looking at the whole picture.

That means asking not only what your child is eating, but also why. It means:

• Looking honestly at how your family manages stress, sleep, connection, and movement as a team
• Addressing the emotional side of health just as much as the physical
• Making one small change at a time, because lasting habits are built slowly, not through a big overhaul that’s hard to keep up.

You don’t need to have all the answers. You just need a place to start.

A book written for families like yours

That’s what Dr Gary Leong’s Ride to Life aims to give you. As a paediatric endocrinologist who has worked with many Australian families, Dr Leong understands that your child’s weight is never just about weight. His book is holistic, friendly, and based on real clinical experience. It meets you where you are, without judgment, and offers practical, manageable advice that works.

Ride to Life guides you through the emotional, physical, and social sides of childhood obesity in a way that feels doable, not overwhelming. It’s not a list of rules or a strict meal plan. Instead, it’s an honest, caring guide that helps you see what’s really happening at home and what you can do, one step at a time. Families who have read it say they finally feel like they’re moving forward together, instead of struggling alone.

A global moment that speaks directly to you